That night

"That Night" I once loved this guy. He was not only good-looking but also sweet.He's smile was disarming. He's eyes were amazingly sexy. He had dimples that could melt glaziers... so HOT. Basically, He's the type you would easily fall for and yes, i fell hard. We became a couple and everyday was just a bliss. We didn't have the luxury to see each other that often due to work schedule conflicts yet we kept in touch through txting and calling.Although the relationship was young, he started telling me those 3 sweet words: "I LOVE YOU". I usually believe that love takes time but becoz the feeling was too strong i ended up saying the same words to him prematurely. And because of that intense feeling, the idea of coming out to my family was tempting. Not a day or a moment that goes by that i wouldn't think of him. Whenever we find time to hang out, we'd never ran out of things to talk about. And of course, we would share intimate moments somewhere. He was also quite the risky type. We once made out and lip-locked inside a curtain-covered fitting room. god knows what could've happened had we been caught. I still couldn't forget it. Surprisingly, that was the best time I've ever had. Those were the happiest moments I have yet experienced in my lifetime. The relationship ran smoothly for awhile until that awful Monday afternoon. We met up again. Went to his place and into his room. As we were in the "cuddling" mood, someone knocked at the door. He went to open it as i took the time to go to the bathroom. When I got out I saw another guy. I was surprised. I didn't expect someone would walk in since he told me that he lived by himself. The guy was hot as well but that's not the point. I had a bad feeling already. What was he doing there? As it turns out, my boyfriend knew that guy. We were introduced to each other. His name I was too confused and too surprised to hear. I was so freaked out but tried to play it cool.My boyfriend went back on bed while the other guy sat on the other side. I turned my back on them coz i was looking for something in my bag. Somewhere in front of me was a mirror and through it I saw the most heartbreaking reflection behind me. They were making out. Kissing each other like I wasn't there. They were in each others arms. One on top of the other. I couldn't quite understand how i felt that time. It ran the gamut of anger and dread, and sadness, and shame, and anger again. I felt cold. I felt my knees weaken. My heart was pumping so hard and so fast. I sat on the chair. I had to or I'll fall. Slowly, I turned to face them. And there it was, a panoramic view of two guys lustfully enjoying each other, one being a stranger and the other one I had so cared for. I froze for several moments just looking at them... but I didn't cry. I took my bag and slowly walked out. He tried to stop me but there was no point of listening to him. I didn't speak a single a word. I just got myself a cab and went directly to work. That night when I was left alone at work I broke out. I could no longer hold it. Everything sinking in and it was so heavy, I had to cry it all out. Sometimes, there’s just something about the night that seems to burst open all the miseries you so kept suppressed in and that night was definitely one of them. That night I knew exactly where I was--- but felt so lost. That night, the world around me was a blur, only my sadness was clear. That night I wept. I wanted to scream... but i just choked. That night i had no one to comfort me. I lost my sole comfort somewhere between the bed and that stranger. That night, I was still breathing though I felt so dead. That night, I so wanted to disappear. That night I still love him even if i shouldn't. That night!